Have You Ever Felt This Way?


Have You Ever Felt This Way?

Have you ever felt inadequate? Like you weren't fitting in? Maybe you've pinched some skin on your tummy and thought you were too fat, or even too skinny. 

Have you ever looked at a magazine, or scrolled through your Instagram feed and thought " I'll never look like her/him" Have you ever judged yourself because your work or ideas were different than someone's you admire? Do you ever compare your art to the work of another artist? Have you ever judged someone, a stranger, for not looking the way you think is "right"? A subconscious self-reflection of something or someone you think you don't want to be? 

Well my friends, if you answered yes to any of the above (and some) I think we need a change.

Trust me, I've been there too. I'll look in the mirror and pick apart things I consider my flaws. 
"My legs are too big" I'll say, or " Don't get my bad side for the photo!" 

This needs to stop. We need to stop criticizing ourselves and stop creating a self-worth based on how we look, or the things we own. We need to stop comparing ourselves to those around us. 

Change negativity for the sake of negativity, and turn it into positive thoughts and affirmations. Big changes will come to you if you flush out the ego and manifest pure love. 

I know, I know! It sounds hella' cliche, but it honestly works. Our minds have the ability to do way more than we could ever imagine if you just open up and allow it to work. 

So my friends, next time you look in the mirror, see your family or friends, cross paths with your so-called "enemy", create something, write something down, cook, dance, etc... kick judgement to the curb and thrive in your own cultivated energy of love and positivity. 

Also I know it's hard to think positively every single day, but just remember that we must be our own # 1 fan! We have to give ourselves the chance. A chance to grow, a chance to flourish, and a chance to learn. 

If you got this far, thank you for reading my brain dump! I'd love to know some of the ways you practice self-love and positivity in your life - please feel free to let me know in the comments below! 

"You're A Rare One"

Photo by Shane D'Souza

Photo by Shane D'Souza

Before reading, please feel free to read my first blog post about Morphea and Scleroderma if you have never heard of this disease before! You can find it here. 

Since posting my first blog post about my auto immune disease Morphea and from posting self-portraits on instagram, I’ve had a a handful of women and young girls reach out to me to share their own experience with this disease. Since Morphea is such a rare disease it’s quite uncommon for a doctor to recognize it, let alone ever meet someone in passing who has Morphea or knows what Morphea is. This makes it very easy to feel like you’re the only one in the whole world that has this disease.

Before branching out of my comfort zone and sharing my experience online I had never met anyone with Morphea or Scleroderma, and I have had this disease since my early childhood. Even with going to Sick Kids hospital in Toronto, I had never crossed paths with another patient who had Morphea. Reflecting back, I realize how helpless and self-conscious I was as a child. I felt like I had no one to relate to and that no one truly understood the personal issues that come with growing up with Morphea.

After sharing my experience and photo series online, I came across the Scleroderma Society of Ontario. This organization puts together fundraiser events every year to benefit the research of finding a treatment or cure for this complex disease. I was also able to meet up with two lovely ladies who both have facial morphea like myself, one who was about my age, and a young girl visiting Canada from the states, whose sweet mother contacted me after posting my first blog post. (Shout out to my old doctors at Sick Kids for sharing my original blog post with your colleagues!) 

I just want to take the time to say to all of those who have shared their stories and experiences with me, that I am so thankful that you contacted me. It’s because of you that I want to continue to write about Morphea, and continue to create projects showcasing this unique disease. We have to remember that we are truly unique individuals who share this disease, and that the disease does NOT define who we are. We are so much more than a percentage, more than a patient, we are more than the ignorant comments about the appearance of our skin. We are friends, family, children, mothers and fathers. You might be athletic, or funny, or creative, or independent. You might love to read books, or you might love to cook. Whatever you may be, just remember that you’re a rare one, and not just because of you’re disease.